Monthly Archives: May 2013

Men and Relationships – Take Charge of the Situation

A lot of women simply find it difficult to understand men and relationships. Although women would have this certain feeling that their current partner is the one they would get to spend the rest of their lives with, sometimes the man may not feel the same way.

You see, even though your man may show his love for you through words and actions. He just might not be ready to take the relationship to the next level, and this situation can be frustrating since you have this feeling that you can’t do anything about it.

And you don’t want to break up with him because you are afraid that you might not get the chance to meet another person just like him ever again, and at the same time, you are depressed by the thought that you may not get him to take the plunge. Well, there are ways to make sure that you get what you want out of your relationship.

First, you should know that men and women are very different in terms of how they feel and think. Men are logical thinkers when it comes to the love and romance department. They usually are not quick in making a relationship commitment with a woman, and once a man becomes emotionally secure with the fact that his partner loves him. He would stop making good impressions anymore because he’s entirely aware that he has you.

As a divorced woman, you may have already gone down this road, which is why you are looking for someone who will make a serious commitment to you, but this does not mean that you would want a marriage proposal or an engagement ring. On the contrary, you only want to have this feeling of security knowing that your man is devoted and adores you deeply.

For some women, the problem lies around the fact that they may have played a part that led to this current situation in their relationship. You may have given your man a reason not to make any kind of formal commitment to you.

As you may know, we usually create our ideal relationship world based on the feelings we have for our partner. If your man is aware how deeply you love him and is only devoted to him, he would be contented with that thought because he’s conscious that you would stay by his side, which means he no longer has to put any effort into the relationship just to make you love him even more. Therefore, it is up to you to change your current predicament.

Well, you don’t have to break up with your man just so you can make him realize that he’s not a big loss to you. You don’t need to go that far with men and relationships. What you can do instead is subtly make him feel that you are not entirely and exclusively his. Engage yourself in activities and spend more time with family members and friends, and don’t always be available for him. This will help persuade him to take the relationship more serious and eventually get him to commit.

Men and Relationships – 3 Reasons He Might Leave and What You Can Do to Stop This From Happening

Men and relationships sometimes seem to go together like oil and water. There are many women out there that truly believe that men are simply not going to stay in a relationship regardless of what they do. I guess it is that whole Mars and Venus thing. Things that come natural to women are completely foreign to men. Things like thinking! Relax guys, I am just kidding about that. I am not kidding about men and women seeing things differently though. If you are having trouble with men and relationships, here are three things that may make him leave and what you can do to keep it from happening.

Nothing will push most men away faster than an overly clingy or needy girlfriend. You simply have to give him a little space to be him. The two of you were individuals that enjoyed different interests before you started dating. Now that you are dating, he will still like some things that may not be appealing to you. If he is really into sports and you are not, there is really no harm in him watching a game while you do something that you enjoy.

Another thing that keeps getting women into trouble with men and relationships is trying to change him. It will be much easier if you can accept the fact that he has no intention of changing. Not for you or anyone else. If you like him the way that he is, great! If not, you will be headed for a lot of heartache. It has been said that men marry women hoping that they never change and women marry men and hope to change them. Like I said earlier, when it comes to women and men and relationships it must be that whole Mars and Venus thing.

Lastly and most important, if you are having trouble with men and relationships it may be because you are making your man pay for the mistakes of previous boyfriends. It is best if you can leave the past in the past. Most of us have to go through a few trolls to get to prince charming. Once you find him you can not keep dumping all of that past pain on him. If he is not responsible for it, put it behind you. If you can not do this, sooner or later he will leave.

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Women and Their Similarities

I have observed for a while, women of different age groups, trying to pin down what really makes them unique. I have come to notice certain strains of similarity which I will expand on, though at the risk of sounding prejudiced. I really am aware that not all women are the same but nevertheless they carry some of these similarities:

1. Love and relationships

Women are serious creatures where love and relationships are concerned. When a woman loves, she does with one goal, to make it work! To this end women usually get burnt out from their efforts as they apply themselves ruthlessly to this task. Sometimes they lose themselves, drown head and shoulders and make a lot of emotional investment, which leaves them exhausted and feeling rejected and unwanted. All this is contrary to their male counterpart who takes it easy, stretches himself only to withdraw when things start getting too hot. No wonder men are called the head because they use their heads most of the time in a relationship, while women use their hearts and are most likely to get heartbroken. Women also engage in petty jealousies as a result of using too much heart and effort. They are simply trying to protect their investment.

2. Need for intimacy

It is also women who initiate and need lots of intimacy. Men would engage in arms length relationships if left to their devices but it is women who bring them down to mother earth and engage them in intimacy. Grudgingly they oblige but are quick to withdraw as soon as they feel that they are losing their autonomy and power. Women have a tough time trying to keep their men hooked.

3. Shopping

Shopping is like an aphrodisiac to women, it gets them excited and rejuvenated just like aphrodisiacs do to a man that is suffering impotence. Women shop for the sake of shopping, not that they need anything but just for the sake of doing it. Looking into their closets a few days after a shopping spree, one woman starts asking herself what she was thinking when she bought all that stuff or that particular outfit, another will be nursing a guilty conscience but the cycle would start again at the next opportunity to go shopping. It is like being hooked on therapy.Shopping is like a therapeutic exercise; you feel good immediately after but still feel miserable a few days later.

4. Sharing or downloading information

Women like to talk. They spend a considerable amount of time talking to each other about every subject on earth. Unlike their male friends, talking creates a sense of bonding in women and they delight in just lending an ear or sharing the latest gossip. It’s also scary the amount and type of information women share and download on each other, some of it very intimate. It is however, just like shopping, an exercise in therapy. This species tends to understand each other and it is not unusual to find strangers engaging in a tête-à-tête and giving each other advice of all kinds.

5. What do women spend their time doing?

Making up, of course! Women pay particular attention to how they look, whether they are models, professionals, business women or ordinary housewives. Women value their looks more than the time spent creating the look. It is called “Make up”, meaning that they spend time creating the look that they want to project to the world. Some might argue that they do not spend that much time applying make up, but I bet you they do spend considerable time in font of a mirror, rehearsing the look that they want to project to the world.

Attraction and Relationships – Is it True That Behind Every Successful Man Stands a Woman? Part 2

A common proverb attributed to male-female attraction and relationships includes the old cliché that, “Behind every successful man stands a woman.”

However, to reach the top normally requires what in Nature is called “the killer instinct.”

In modern Western human societies, relatively little actual killing takes place and thus the phrase isn’t literally true these days. But it still refers the willingness to set aside your state of mind to achieve a specific and very challenging goal.

The top spot will go to a guy who can fire workers whose wives are eight months pregnant and not miss a beat while doing it. That will also be the guy who won’t think twice about closing down factories if they can be relocated to a third-world country where wages are low and benefits are non-existent.

Loyalty means nothing to him. He has no real friends. Ice flows through his veins.

But the real trick is to seem likeable at the same time. Many politicians and business leaders common have both these traits and it’s the foundation of their success.

But very few guys are that ruthless by nature. Most of us are nice guys. We’re decent human beings. We’re compassionate.

That’s because most societies try to control us from a young age by instilling guilt or shame if we don’t sublimate our own desires to “the greater good” (this most definitely includes the dynamics of attraction and relationships).

The paradox is that men who learn those lessons well won’t usually go all the way to the top, whether it’s in politics, business, or romance.

And let’s face it: that’s most of us! We want to be liked. We worry about what others might think of us. And we’re loyal to those friends and co-workers who have supported us on the way up.

That’s where women come in. We may not be cold, calculating or ruthless. But, women can summon up those qualities more easily than you might realize.

And they reward those qualities more quickly than you’d like to admit: guys who actually have the killer instinct tend to attract lots of women. But there are not enough of those guys to meet the female demand.

So women do the next best thing: they develop their own “killer” man in-house. They find and marry a very smart, talented guy with a solid education and then proceed to hone his killer instinct.

She’ll make sure he “dresses for success.”
She won’t allow him to leave for the office with five o’clock shadow visible.
She’ll regularly prod him into asking for raises.
And when he comes home with a tale of woe about how his nemesis “Fred” is angling for a big promotion at the office, she’ll kick into high gear and coach him on how to ace Fred out of the running with an assortment of dirty tricks.

Like the Drill Sergeant who barks, “Get down and give me twenty!”, she’ll whip her recruit into a lean, mean, fighting machine. He’ll claw his way up the ladder, because she’ll not let up on pressuring him.

But just to be sure that he doesn’t begin to coast, she’ll also ramp up her spending as his compensation grows. And that’s why you’ll see many married couples earning six-figure incomes who seem to be just scraping by. He makes an awful lot of money, but her tastes are even more expensive.

In the past when it was still legal to do so, it wasn’t unusual for companies hiring men for the fast track to interview their wives also, to see if the wife had expensive tastes. If she did, the company knew her husband had the potential to rise to the top some day. But if the wife seemed to be frugal, her husband wouldn’t get the job, because his motivation to do “whatever it takes” would not be there.

If you watch the corporate scandals that emerge every few years and you wonder why guys who are already worth millions of dollars would risk it all on shady schemes that will end up with some of them going to prison, we’ll wager that every one of them was married to a woman with expensive tastes. The next time you see one of those “perp walks” on TV, take a look for his wife walking just behind him and you’ll usually see a very expensively attired woman.